Wednesday, May 13, 2015
A Break In A Beautiful Place - Time to Clear My Head
Wednesday, May 13, 2015Over the last few months I experienced something I never expected I needed to face. My longest, oldest friend who has been beside me ...
Over the last few months I experienced something I never expected I needed to face. My longest, oldest friend who has been beside me since we were at Primary School, died unexpectedly from a cardiac arrest.
It's been a testing time and as I looked at quotes on Pinterest, I found one in particular caught my eye. It read how "sometimes you need to spend time in a beautiful place alone to clear your head". I decided to take its advice and allow myself one of the few luxuries of being freelance and left work and London for a month to spend the entirety at home in the Cotswold's.
Since I started my freelance life I have worked regularly to un-sociable hours, edging past 4am, and also work 7 days a week, including many bank holidays. My fellow freelancers and business owners will understand the responsibility and stress you face when you have to rely on yourself to bring in work. However the death of my beautiful friend, forced me to see a new perspective, one I wished I had learned for myself long before Jemma's passing, as she would always tell me to stop working so hard and that she missed me as I was "always here, there, and everywhere".
I don't regret working myself so hard as I have always had a strong work ethic and I fortunate to have the most wonderfully satisfying career. However a part of me will always regret the times I chose to work over coming home and seeing her and my other friends. I will not make the same mistakes again. I want to invest more time into living life and this is something I think Jemma would be very happy to have attributed to her, knowing that I can't change the past however many seconds of the day I try to in my mind.
Being at home I felt comforted to be in the most beautiful place, where we have so many happy memories. Being in the open countryside and allowing myself time to slow down was an important stage in my grief. It also gave me the perspective to realise that allowing myself to be present in every moment rather than thinking ahead was something I needed more than ever.
Since I started my freelance life I have worked regularly to un-sociable hours, edging past 4am, and also work 7 days a week, including many bank holidays. My fellow freelancers and business owners will understand the responsibility and stress you face when you have to rely on yourself to bring in work. However the death of my beautiful friend, forced me to see a new perspective, one I wished I had learned for myself long before Jemma's passing, as she would always tell me to stop working so hard and that she missed me as I was "always here, there, and everywhere".
I don't regret working myself so hard as I have always had a strong work ethic and I fortunate to have the most wonderfully satisfying career. However a part of me will always regret the times I chose to work over coming home and seeing her and my other friends. I will not make the same mistakes again. I want to invest more time into living life and this is something I think Jemma would be very happy to have attributed to her, knowing that I can't change the past however many seconds of the day I try to in my mind.
Being at home I felt comforted to be in the most beautiful place, where we have so many happy memories. Being in the open countryside and allowing myself time to slow down was an important stage in my grief. It also gave me the perspective to realise that allowing myself to be present in every moment rather than thinking ahead was something I needed more than ever.
If you find yourself in a similar position or face a period of time which is going to be difficult. Be honest with yourself and secondly find your beautiful place. The time I spent at home was un-restricting and I hope this can encourage others to understand the importance of sometimes letting go and spending time where you feel yourself.
I posted photos, on instagram, of where I went on my break, mostly close to home and places I feel content. You can find the list of the places I visited above, or on my Pinterest.
I would like to take this opportunity to mention my friend's family and friends are raising money for The British Heart Foundation via the two following pages. I'm encouraging everyone to donate to such an important charity and save every heartbeat.
https://www.justgiving.com/forJemmaR/
https://www.justgiving.com/Natalie-rozier/
I posted photos, on instagram, of where I went on my break, mostly close to home and places I feel content. You can find the list of the places I visited above, or on my Pinterest.
I would like to take this opportunity to mention my friend's family and friends are raising money for The British Heart Foundation via the two following pages. I'm encouraging everyone to donate to such an important charity and save every heartbeat.
https://www.justgiving.com/forJemmaR/
https://www.justgiving.com/Natalie-rozier/
